rokok oh rokok..

worry with my smoking habits lately.. i can finish up 2 packs in a day.. have to do something abt it.. even my curtains at home smells like packs of ciggy.. teruk tol..

1 day fulltime housewife..

I took a day off yesterday.. *pandai2 je EL

Jadi surirumah for a day..
Penatttt...
I start off my day with the following (by sequence) with cigarettes after each task.. hehe..
- subuh, masak air, buat coffee for dearest hubby
- basuh baju, jemur baju (3 kali spin)
- mengemas rumah.. phewwww...
- cook for lunch..
- kemas dapur..
- lepas lunch, zuhur..
- online kejap..
- kemas lagi.. sofa baru sampai.. abis sepah2 umah aku balik..
- asar, coffee for hubby..
- watch tv
- maghrib..
- prepare for dinner plak.. intai next door neighbor nyer husband.. elokkkk.. hensem weh..
- kemas dapur plak..
- baru boleh rilek.. nak rilek? ada je tgn dtg meraba.. cemana nak rilek..

finally kol 12 baru boleh terlelap.. phew.. penatnye jadi housewife.. miss my day at office where my lazy ass terhempuk kat kerusi empuk ittew for whole day..

Not easy tho jadi housewife.. Tahniah pada sume fulltime housewife yg sabar je melakukan perkara di atas setiap hari.. plus the kids.. pheww...

duwet..

It was a very hectic day yesterday.. The whole day.. Im out of money.. left only few ringgit in Coach purse.. So was my hubby.. both of us chose to keep quiet on our way home last nite.. increase on oil price added some flavor to it too.. plus the traffic jam all the way from my office to home.. i can see very angry ppl driving and queing at the petrol station.. merely because of the sudden huge increase.. i salute m'sian for the tolerance and acceptance.. me myself am extremely worry abt my finances in the future.. what abt the loan interest for our midrange condo.. can we afford to have kids..

mcm ni, gaji 20 ribu pun tak cukup..

Nothing wrong with my wish..

We often receive wedding invitation, the least is like twice a year.. for who doesnt receive wedding invitation --> ppl is hating u.. pls save that.. anyway, im not gonna talk about wedding per say.. it's abt my wedding..

i did the other way than what the community usually do.. me.. nikah first.. then start thinking about having a reception.. no engagement, no risik stuff.. just straight away to nikah.. apa pun, itu yg wajib.. it's been my wishes long time ago.. just a simple ceremony with ppl i care about around me during the nikah.. but dilemma starts to kicks off when ppl in office, start to talking..

- nape takde reception.. nikah emergency ke..
- dah pregnant lagi ke..
- takde duit ke..
- tergesa2 lain mcm je..
- apa punye org la.. org nak kawin grand2..dia nak buat kecik2..

it's my wedding.. why do ppl loveeeeeeeeee to speculate things around.. buat aku potong je nak buat reception..

i dont need to justify it.. it's my wish.. i just want to satisfy my wish..

Short moment, so many things..

Wonder how takdir is works like.. I never expect I am what I am today.. I recently got married to the cyber guy..

Mood : Happy (i can satisfy my sex desire anytime.. hehe..)

my beseday is coming.. hola 30!

It's been quite awhile from my last update.. lots of things has been going on and off.. the cyber guy.. ditch him for no reason.. poor him.. we've been dating for 3 serious months ( i call it serious when we sleep and wake up together.. what's happen in between shud not be revealed here but apparently there were no sex involved)

epool.. we lost contact so do my desire towards him..

there's new guy in a picture.. he's married, freaking handsome and goddamn rich.. we've seeing each other quite regularly.. he's been very clear abt his intention and i figured he is harmless and i am harmless too.. adding one more new friend wont make my life any worst than it is rite now.. he is happened to be my senior.. he's actually 3 years older and we were some sort of have the same interest with each other back in school.. but now.. he's taken.. what's left.. good friendship that i hope will last forever..

my medication.. dr changed my dosage again.. getting used to it.. instead of Prozac and Rivotril, im taking activan and Cital.. whatever it means it is still anti depressant.. everytime the dosage change, the mood disorder will takes place.. so i dealt with it until today..

finally.. im leaving my twenties in few days.. gosh.. the big 3 is coming.. how shud i take it.. positively or negative.. let me list it..

30, with Honda car, nice condo, good career, enough salary, no boifren
20s, with Hyundai car, rental condo, good career, enough salary, boifren on and off..

which one is better? being 30 rite.. so.. i want to enjoy my 30.. countdown.. 5 more days to go..

more.. later..

mood : ok ok aje..

Epool..

im just a normal human being.. i have desire for food and sex.. i am embarrased to share in this blog about what im feeling this time..

last nite was fun.. it was unplanned.. 6 of us were karakoing till 1.30 am.. and im very sexually attracted to this guy.. name him Epool..

I know him from a friend.. we sms few times and that's about it.. i never thought that he is captivate enough for my attention.. he is just plain guy with straight hair, tanned and toned body.. a little taller from me with a javanese look..

it was sweet last nite, he accomapanied to perform prayer at nearest surau.. kind of sweet, he waited for me until i was done.. i was touched..

then we met at the karaoke centre.. i couldnt help the feeling.. it was cold.. i couldnt help to be in his arms.. i guess he noticed that..

and today.. i cant get him out of my head.. keep imagining things that i want to do to him if he is right here at this moment at my cribs...

Astaghfirullahal'azim....

Aku mmg horny giler kat mamat nih...

mood : horny nak mampus..

teruk la..

ive became a really heavy smoker lately.. kinda of odd, a tudung gal like seeing with cigarette in my hands and puffing the smoke..

ive lost count how much.. but what really count is, the money i spent to cover up my smoking habits from my office colleagues and my family.. my mom especially who really against women who smokes.. mcm jalang kata dia.. ouch..

my mom loves to do a surprise visit to my crib and i always have to make sure that smells is not around.. and it takes a lotttttt to get rid of that smells ok..

i just bought
- 3 different fragrance for my car.. stick to the aircond.. i got dizzy for the different smell.. but it helps..

- bought an aromatherapy for my house.. gosh.. it doesnt work.. the smell is still there.. i have to invest on a stronger one, or maybe candles or whatever.. coz it smells everywhere.. on my sheet, on my table, my bathroom, kitchent, EVERYWHERE..

-i have to open every window and sliding doors to make sure winds blows away all the smokes.. but the it still there..

gosh.. it takes a lot to be a hypocrite.. i think i should call it a quit..

what a mess..