let me cry to myself..

when i think things getting better,he knew when exactly to come and shit on me..
probably, oh, maybe she's happy and ready to move on, stop her and let her continue suffer.. what the fuck..

he that bastard came into my life again.. calls after calls.. i ignored.. emails after emails.. i forwarded to his wife.. he just sent me one sms that totally wreck me off..

he was saying, he really need me, he's not happy with the marriage that not even 2 months.. and most fucking thing that really pisses me off, he's not happy and i should not move on..

i burst.. with tears.. why on earth this guy can become as the love of my life.. he is so mean and selfish..

im on my medication for what.. to recover from what he did.. im a heavy smoker coz im still missing him and need to wash my brain off with narcotine.. im so messed up coz i can barely manage myself coz my thoughts full of him and i am struggling to move on..

fuck hot date and that cyber guy.. they cant even make me forget him.. it's not their fault.. it's purely my fault to not able handle my emotion..

what should i do.. can we just delete the unwanted memories... i dont even want to remember his name, his look, his kiss and everything about him..

he will still bug me with all the sms and emails.. fuck him.. go and make babies and stop bugging me.. let me go on with my life.. i cant even say this to him.. im too pissed off to even say a word to him..

just let me cry to myself..